Respect Your Mother (and Other Such Thoughts)

Today I sat.  I sat for a long time on a wooden bench amongst hundreds of other parents.  The weather was hot, humid and rainy, as usual.  Fans whirred above my head, some spraying cool mist, which definitely kept it cooler, but did not do wonders for my hair.  The last thing I need in a humid climate is more humidity, especially not the kind that is being deliberately aimed at my already frizzed-out, half curly mane (an ingenious invention with potentially disastrous implications of the beauty variety).

Despite the discomfort (and clear concern for the state of my hair), I sat on for more than two-and-a-half hours.  There were speeches, songs, poems (at list I think that’s what they were), dances and prayers.  Some were in English, but most in Thai.  Needless to say, I did not understand it all.  I couldn’t see anything either, except for a few very bad dye jobs and the hint of students performing in the distance.  ‘Please rise’ and ‘please be seated’ moments broke up the monotony.

Somehow I always feel as if the Thai people around me are completely at ease with these long-winded affairs, opting to pass the time quietly listening or perhaps sneaking in a conversation with a neighbor.  They are used to it.  I should be by now.  I’ve been to my fair share of mind-numbingly long presentations.  Alas, I am not.  I like to think of it as my own version of restless leg syndrome, but instead it is restless foreigner syndrome.

As I am not one to sit still for long, I have taught myself to deal with the discomfort of stillness by letting my mind wander.  If I don’t understand what they’re saying, why try to listen, right?  It can actually be good, quality thinking time for me.    So, sitting there this morning, after answering a few emails, checking Facebook and making sure no one was available for a chat on Skype, my mind switched into pensive mode.

The reason I was there today (albeit two days early), in a parent-heat sandwich, was due to the fact that August 12 is Mother’s Day in Thailand and most importantly, the Queen’s birthday.  So, as I was tuning out the heat and speeches about respecting our mothers, I made myself aware of a few things that I really enjoy about being here, on this bench, in this country. 

Here is my list:

1. My 4 and 6 year old children are already fluent in Thai.  I am forced to play catch-up.
2. The deep respect for family and togetherness is impressive. Not stifling, impressive.
3. Pomp and circumstance is good every now and then (even if I resist it).  At least it makes you get dressed up all pretty a few times a year.
4. There is nothing greater for a busy parent than a school uniform.  Not having to wrestle that really dirty, sequined top out of your child’s hand on the way to school – priceless.  And, when you see the students all lined up – they look pretty good together down to those pesky braids that I have to twist every morning.
5. Food is never out of the picture.  Even during important ceremonies, the kitchen is always open. 
6. If by chance, the kitchen is closed, you simply take 5 steps out the gate and follow the smells to your choice of hundreds of snacking options.
7. Having a rainy season means that the locals know how to plan for rain.  Tents are always on hand.  Events don’t get delayed or cancelled.  They happen.  You may be soaked by the time you get there, but the good news is, you won’t be alone.
8. I can feel better about being late for everything.  No matter how late I am, someone is always later than me.
9. The power of music to bring out emotions is amazing.  I still get chills every time I hear the King’s royal anthem, whether in a movie theatre, on television or on the street.  You can sense the respect for the monarchy in its regal crescendos.
10. Sitting and waiting is O.K.  It gives me time to stop and think. (This last one took me a very long time to learn – it didn’t just happen this morning).

Here are some photographs I took in between thoughts:

students wait to pay respect to mom

 blue, the Queen's flag

 portrait of the Queen, presiding

 all in a line

And with that, I wish my mom and all a Happy Mother’s Day from Thailand, full of respect, appreciation and moments to stop and think.

The View from Here, Part I.

Flavor:  sweet

A good view is a turn on.  Perhaps it is my bias, as an architect.  I lean towards the visually stimulating.

I used to take walks in Florence, headphones on, deaf to the world and just find myself close to tears at the unfolding views in front of me.  I think I must have spent hours most Saturdays climbing up the hill to the monastery in Fiesole, high above the red-roofed city, and staring into the vast unfolding panorama.  Those were weak-in-the-knees moments for me.

No matter how you decide to enjoy a view:  alone or with others, accompanied by a good soundtrack or a full glass, you have to admit that a good view is breathtaking, at the least.

I prefer to enjoy my views in either complete silence (adding to the sense of peacefulness) or whilst listening to some good music.  Unfortunately, this perfect scenario is far from the norm.  The occasions that allow for this type of solitude and inner thought are few and far between – they are vacation moments - not every day-working-living moments.  A typical view will be lost in the din of the crowd on the sidewalk, the smell of exhaust and hum of car engines, or the kids screaming in the back seat.  The beauty of pictures, however, is that they can block out the background and freeze that view in complete silence.  It is then your choice to remember the sounds, imagine the smells, add your own soundtrack or simply enjoy the peaceful silence of it all.

I have found that most views I enjoy in this city tend to be from the inside of an air conditioned car.  It’s a nice little bubble to be in when the humidity, heat and scent of the city beyond are overwhelming.  The focus is not on staying cool or worrying about tripping on the rough pavement.  It is pure view.

(now, mind you, I do not condone driving and photographing – I only click when stopped in traffic  or when in the passenger seat). 

So, for the next installment, enjoy the silence, turn up your music or grab a drink and enjoy the view from here.

roofscape, bkk.

bridgescape, bkk.

heart of the city, bkk.

rain and traffic, bkk.

view from home, bkk.

rain on the roof, bkk.

Back in Da Game

Flavor:  sweet

It’s as simple as a bowl of noodles.  A few ingredients mixed together and you get the most fantastic, palate-pleasing treat.   One blissful culinary moment can pop me back into place.  So, with my bowl of noodles at breakfast this morning, I end up back here.

Hiatus ended.  No apologies.  No excuses.

I originally began this blog to keep the other side of the world involved.  I am much more likely to elaborate here than in a late night or early morning phone call with head on the pillow or foot out the door.  What has proven even more invaluable, however, is the ability of writing  to keep me aware of my surroundings and my feelings.  

I recently spent a few days getting to know New York City. Having lived in and around the city for a good part of my life, I was amazed at how little I knew or had experienced.  I played tourist and gave myself a chance to breathe in the city.  By foot, bus, low-line and high-line, I paid attention and tried to appreciate it as a local rarely has the chance to do. 

So, my grand plan is to be able to see Bangkok in the same light.  Despite the daily grind, armed with camera and words, I am on a mission to appreciate what is around me.  I am challenging myself to see this city through fresh eyes.

Thoughts come to me easily.  Getting them out-not so easy.  So, this post, which has been a year-and-a -half in the making is simply meant to get me back in the game.  As previously stated, I am an irregular blogger.  Have patience.  If you promise to read, I’ll promise to write.  Hopefully it will keep you involved or at least mildly entertained. 

Alternative reading:  I hope to share that bowl of noodles with you someday, and ideally this will bring you one step closer to buying a ticket and heading out the door.

degrees of frustration

flavor: sour-ish

I’m going to be flogged for saying this, but I wish it weren’t so hot. Most people I know are in the midst of winter or just wishing that they had a few degrees more to get them to Spring. However, I’m just not a hot weather person. I’ve tried, I really have. So, now I am gleefully awaiting a trip to NY for the chance, among other reasons, to reacquaint myself with pants and sweaters.

Somehow, I feel that we were cheated out of a cool season this year. It’s really not long enough to be called a season. It’s three or four weeks – tops. Here it’s called the hot season, by some. The other two are hotter and hottest. Perhaps I am just forgetting that we had a glorious few days around Thanksgiving when I was wearing a fleece to bed. It was short, but very, very sweet.

We do not have air conditioning in our bathrooms (or our kitchen, for that matter). And the spaces that are graced with that heavenly gift of chill are rarely used, as we are careful about electricity (I am trying to be a good environmentalist, here)!

I’ve worked on relaxing and breathing and somehow (knowing my character, you’d understand), it just doesn’t make it any cooler. The air is thick. It’s wet. It’s sticky. It’s the kind of sticky that you don’t even have to move to sweat. Taking a shower has taken on new meaning. It’s not just the ritual of getting clean (which is desperately needed here), but it’s really the most comfortable place to be. The BEST feeling. Getting out, however, is another story. I’m not one to waste water, but I honestly could stay in the shower all day, prune-y hands and all. The minute you get out, you feel like you need to take a shower. There is no cooling off. It’s a lucky day if there’s a breeze. In this weather, you don’t dry off if there is no breeze.

My days are spent looking for cool places. Not hip places, cool places. Walking to get lunch at work (i.e.: taking the elevator downstairs), can work up a sweat equivalent to a full-on workout. So, if I want to take the stairs or walk a little further afield for lunch, there must be an air conditioned space at the end of the rainbow. Otherwise, I wouldn’t do it. Not worth the sweat. Really, the effort is minimal, but the payback is horrifying. I’ve even deliberately planned ¼ mile walks to pass through three very cold shopping malls.

Staying cool when working outside is quite literally impossible. Luckily, the building where I work (like many here) is heavily ‘open’ to allow breeze to come through. The roof even opens up! However, when spending a marathon 12 hour review session outdoors (in the shade, even) critiquing one student after the other, It just doesn’t cut it. Did I mention that I’m in full work attire?

I call my newest trick, the Darth Vader. It’s my low tech way of getting the cool when I need it. As water or beverage (of the non-alcoholic genre, unfortunately) is always necessary and ice is a large component of said refreshment, you might as well use all of the drink’s resources to your advantage. So, when my liquid refreshment is gone, I simply hold the cup of ice up to my face (similarly as you would with a gas mask at the dentist) and breathe in and out. It does make a ‘haw-per’ kind of noise as did its namesake in the Star Wars films. And, I’m sure it looks quite ridiculous. But, it makes THE coolest breeeeeeze. Whatever gets you through, right?

I’ve cut my hair shorter, switched to open shoes and learned how to walk with an umbrella, even on the sunniest of days. I am trying, I really am.

On the bright side, I do drink more water and I don’t need a sauna.

doors in the 'hood

flavor:  salty

It's hot.  really hot.  I know most of you can't believe it with all that winter going on, but, believe me, it's hot here.  So, despite the large doses of caffeine, I am unable to stay awake to pen a post and will retreat to my air conditioned bedroom.

flavor:  sweet

So, instead of words upon words, I give you another stop on the tour of my neighborhood.  The doors and gates that make up our street.

This last one is good.  It's a dog house.  Literally.  Until very recently, a pack of stray dogs (who are not so stray if they have a home...) had inhabited this small piece of land/pieced together home (roof and all).  I sometimes wonder if the dogs built it themselves.... The door has since been boarded up and the dogs have disappeared.  The note now reads something like...."keep this door closed or else you'll die..."  I'm not touching it.